The Tweets are flying. Here’s one. “BBC reporting that #Fifa president Sepp Blatter is set to be provisionally suspended for 90 days by ethics chamber.” 

(Which prompts the question: Where exactly is Blatter’s ethics chamber?)

Now we hear that he is definitely - provisionally - suspended, as is his UEFA counterpart Michel Platini. So that's all sorted then. Well there are a few more things to sort out. Provisionally...

But we move on. And as the wily Swiss dangles, provisionally, there is news from another ethics chamber - the World Anti-Doping Agency - in the form of its 2014 report which shows positive doping tests are down by 10 per cent on the previous year, despite a greater number of tests having been carried out, 283,304 to 269,878, by the Agency’s accredited laboratories around the globe.

Put up the flags! Run immediately into your street and embrace your neighbour! Let the bells of the parish ring!

Well at least feel quietly satisfied.

What do you mean “it all seems a bit meaningless?” It’s science. Facts and figures.

Admittedly the overview on worldwide levels of cheating across all sports offered a couple of months ago by the WADA Director-General David Howman made for less heady reading.

"We have some guestimates based on some research undertaken over the last years," he said.

"It's far more than we would wish it to be - over 10 per cent. That is of concern because those being caught by the system is far lower than that. Not in all sports, in some sports."

Well, at any rate, we can at least be sure that Blatter will probably be leaving his office, perhaps soon, and that the level of doping is quite likely coming down worldwide. Unless it isn’t.

Heartening.

So what else do we know as we survey the sporting scene in this momentous week?

We know that England will not be taking any further part in the Rugby World Cup once they have banished all memory of their recent defeats by Wales and Australia in giving Uruguay a severe dead-rubbering at Manchester City's Etihad Stadium on Saturday.

The Rugby Football Union, meanwhile, intends to hold a “360-degree” review into what has gone so woefully amiss with the host nation’s challenge.

Correct me if I’m wrong, but doesn’t turning 360 degrees mean you end up exactly where you started?

I don’t pretend to be an expert on rugby - or indeed on anything, other perhaps than whether my dogs need to go out or not - but something that has jarred with me in the course of England’s World Cup travails is the readiness with which coach Stuart Lancaster has appeared to throw individual players under the team bus.

He was quick to contend that “decisions on the field” had cost England when the chance to draw level against Wales by kicking a late penalty was eschewed for a kick to the corner and a flawed attempt to force a try was neatly rumbled by the defending team.

Finger thus pointing directly at his representative on earth, captain Chris Robshaw; and indirectly at those members of the team, including kicker Owen Farrell, with whom Robshaw consulted before voicing that fateful decision.

Fast forward to the Australian defeat, and Lancaster was asked on ITV whether the yellow-carding of Farrell ten minutes from time for a dangerous tackle on Matt Giteau - at 20-13 down - effectively did for the team’s chance of a revival. Answer - yes.

Farrell’s exit, of course, was a significant blow to England’s faint prospects, although it could have been worse as newcomer Sam Burgess got away with a high tackle on Michael Hooper in the same moment.

But the response of the captain, Robshaw to the same question - namely that it was a "bad moment" for the team - was surely the kind of defensive response that should have been offered by the coach.

It reminded me of the way England manager Glenn Hoddle cut young David Beckham adrift during the 1998 World Cup finals after the Manchester United midfielder had been sent off for a petulant, retaliatory flick at Argentina’s Diego Simeone after being flattened.

This is not something that happened with either of the two men who have steered England to World Cup final victories, Alf Ramsey and Clive Woodward. Such criticism stayed in the dressing room.

As the newly established President of the International Association of Athletics Federations, - erm, on the tip of my tongue, er, oh yes - Sebastian Coe, observed earlier this week while on a two-day tour of India, coaching lies at the heart of any sport.

Coe was talking about athletics, but his comments are equally true of rugby, or football, or any other variant of sporting activity: “You can invest in all the talent spotting, athletics grass roots and development programmes you like but if you don’t have good coaching and good coach education, it’s just a happy accident if anything happens.”

Or indeed an unhappy accident if something doesn’t.

Meanwhile Coe was happy to react positively to the suggestion that athletics could adopt the template that works so well in Indian cricket, namely the Indian Premier League franchise involving different cities.

'You have a fixed budget,” he said.

“If BMW London want to spend their entire budget on Usain Bolt, that's fine.

"If Paris think they want Rudisha and someone else, that's fine.

“I think we need to be innovative.”

Was he just humouring the local press? Or is this a serious option?

Time will tell – it’s just one of the many tantalising uncertainties thrown up by this sporting week.

Oh, excuse me. The dogs do need to go out now…